I’ve not written much on this blog lately, I don’t know if you’ve noticed. I haven’t burned out though. Quite the opposite. I am smoldering, slowly, waiting, watching.
Life has become hectic and running the edge of unmanageability. There is little extra time for anything, including photography. Most days as I collect my things to leave the house for work I look down at my camera bag sitting there, waiting patiently to be picked up, and I wonder, “can I?”
But, for now, I can’t. There isn’t time; and there isn’t time that can be made either. Life has become like that and I surrender to it. Yes, I could choose to rearrange my priorities. I know that. I could choose to make time. But my priorities are right where they need to be, and that leaves little or no time for making photographs. So I leave my camera bag at home yet another day, on purpose, mindfully. In this case taking it along would pull my attention away from those things that rightfully need to have it.
So, what is left then? Well, I watch. And I wait. And I observe. And I dream. And this makes the desire burn. The hot coals smolder and gain energy and when the time comes there will be a bright bursting forth. How do I know this? Well, it’s happened before. I’ve lived long enough to know that. I’ve seen it happen in others as well and the resulting creativity has been fabulous, amazing, fascinating.
It helps to want to create good photographs and this time of restricted productivity can fuel that “wanting to.” Or it can create frustration and resentment if I let it. The choice really is up to me.